Dealing With Difficult Customers, Angry Customers and Just Plain Rude Customers

Those in customer service positions in retail, hospitality (hotel and restaurants), call centers and government have to deal with difficult customers, angry customers, and just plain rude customers on a daily basis. For customer service staff who are not accustomed to this, or lack the training and knowledge to deal with the difficult, angry and rude, the experience can be stressful and make an otherwise enjoyable job, unpleasant, and even intolerable.

New: The angry customer knowledgebase is the place to have your questions answered about angry and difficult customers. Please drop in to learn, comment, and share your customer service expertise.

We've put together a number of techniques, tips, hints, and advice you can apply to various difficult customer situations. The majority of these have been adapted from The Defusing Hostile Customers Workbook, available through us or amazon.com.

Or, if you don't need the exercises included in the workbook, and you'd prefer non-government examples, you can save some money by buying our newest release - If It Wasn't For The Customers I'd Really Like This Job: Stop Angry, Hostile Customers COLD While Remaining Professional, Stress Free, Efficient and Cool As A Cucumber.

General Questions About Difficult, Angry, and Abusive Customers:

Is Angry and Hostile Customer Behavior A Result of Their Personalities

If angry hostile behavior is a result of personality, then how can a customer service rep hope to impact on it.

Why are some customers so darned difficult and rude?

It's a natural question to ask, but it may be that for those that deal with distraught customers, the answers are too complex to be useful.

I Keep Trying To Find The Ultimate Put-Down For Rude Customers. Is There One?

All of us go through that. It's normal. But read on for more.

Why do angry customers pick on me, when I don't make the rules?

The simple answer is that angry people aren't all that rational and logical, which I'm sure you've noticed, but it's a bit more complex than that.

What do angry customers really want from me?

Sometimes it seems like even the customers don't know what they want, and that nothing will satisfy them when they are angry. The answer to this important question underlies almost all techniques used to deal with irate customers.

What is the CARP system for defusing angry and difficult customers?

It's common for customer service representatives, in their desire to help, to mis-time their use of defusing techniques. The CARP system is a simple model to remind about timing and sequencing of defusing "moves".

Can you summarize the most important principles I should apply when dealing with angry or abusive customers?

Although the more you know and understand your customers, the better, we can boil down the customer defusing process into a set of relatively easy to remember principles. Here they are.

Why is self-control so important when dealing with difficult customers?
It's a simple question, as is the one below on the consequences of losing self-control, but the answer for both is that if you lose your temper, YOU are the one that will pay, not the customer.

What are possible consequences if I lose my cool and lose self-control with an angry customer?

Since the rules of behavior are different for customers and those that serve customers, you'll find that when you get angry, or more importantly, act in an angry way towards a customer, you are the one likely to be punished. It's not fair, but it's the reality.

What techniques, hints, and advice can I use to maintain my cool and self-control when dealing with an obnoxious customer?

If you have anger control issues in a number of situations at home and at work, you'd best look for professional help. If you are normally very good at handling your anger and frustration, but still want to improve, there are some good "self-talk" strategies you can learn on your own drawn from cognitive behavior therapy.

How can I continue to improve my ability to deal with difficult, aggressive, and insulting customers?

Here are some suggestions to involve your self in continuous improvement so your skills get better and better over time. Reading a book or watching a training video is great, but it's what you do after that is important.

Specific Techniques, Advice and Hints and Tips Applied To Difficult and Abusive and Angry Customers

What Is "disengaging from angry customer", and what is it used for?

As with all the defusing techniques in our book, and there's over a hundred, the point is to calm the customer down so you can work with him or her to address the concern. There's a wee bit more to it of course. Read on.

I deal with angry customers on the phone. How can I get them to stop talking at me, and start listening?

Ah, the secret sauce for dealing with customers on the phone that addresses one of the largest problems of phone interaction -- getting the caller to listen so you can help.

How do I use the "We Technique" to send a message I'm working with the difficult customer?

As you will see, and as with all the techniques outlined in our books, the "We Technique" has to be used properly to work. Used improperly it's likely to add fuel to the angry consumer's "fire". Read for more.

What are "hot words" and "hot phrases", and why should I avoid them with customers?

Not only should you know about hot words an hot phrases as they relate to working with your customers and callers, but they come into play at home too.

What is "removing the audience" and why is it important with angry or manipulative customers?

Many customer service representatives work in public view or within earshot of other customers. Or, sometimes a customer will bring his or her own "cheering crew" that can affect how you defuse. This techniques addresses these situations.

Can you suggest a way to start off conversations with customers, difficult, angry or otherwise?

Get off on the wrong foot and things often get worse, and very quickly. Here are some suggestions about how to start interactions well, not only with angry customers, but to prevent customers from becoming irate.

How can I use surprise as a way to stop an angry or abusive customer from talking at me?

Believe it or not Psychological theory can tell us a lot about how to react and deal with real world behavior, and much of what's on these pages has psychological underpinnings. This is one of those things where theory informs practice. Some things simply are more likely to get the attention of people, and surprise is one of them.

What Is "The Distraction Technique"?

Need a technique to turn customer anger around, and break the escalation cycle? This is one technique from our books and seminars you might find useful.