Defusing Hostile Customers Workbook Table of Contents

Below is a full listing of the content (and exercises) included in the Defusing Hostile Customers Workbook. Excerpts are available online by clicking here, as is complete information about the book.

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Chapter I - Introduction 1

The Government Context 3
Who Pays The Price? 4
You CAN Do Something About It 4
Using The Workbook 4
Caveats 5
Important Note On Safety 5
Final Note 5

Chapter II - The Nature of Hostile, & Abusive Behavior 7

Some Definitions 9
Anger 9
Angry Behavior 9
Hostile/Abusive Behavior 10
Verbal Abuse 10
NonVerbal Abuse 10
Violence 11
Implications & Key Points 11
Where Does Hostile/Abusive Behavior Come From? 12
At The Beginning 12
Later On That Same Life 13
And In Adulthood... 13
The Purpose of Hostile/Abusive Behavior 14
The Rules of The Abuse Game 15
The Bait Concept 15
More Rules 17
Rule 1: When attacked you will respond defensively. 17
Rule 2: When attacked you will counterattack. 17
What Angry People Need And Want 18
They Want What They Want 18
They Want Help 19
They Want Choices 19
They Want Acknowledgment 20
How Angry Situations Escalate 20

Chapter III - Overview of The Defusing Process 27

Introduction 29
Review 29
The CARP System A Master Strategy 30
Principles of Defusing 34
Principle 1: Deal With The Feelings First 34
Principle 2: Avoid Coming Across As Bureaucratic 35
Principle 3: Each Situation Is Different 35
Principle 4: Strive To Control The Interaction 36
Principle 5: Begin Defusing Early 36
Principle 6: Be Assertive, Not Aggressive Or Passive 36
Principle 7: If You Lose Control of Yourself, You Lose, Period 37
Principle 8: What You Focus On, You Get More Of 38
Principle 9: Don't Supply Ammunition 38
Principle 10:Don't Ask Questions You Don't Want To Hear Answers To 38
Principle 11: Avoid Inadvertent Errors 39
Principle 12: Avoid High Risk, High Gain Behavior 40

Chapter IV - The Art of Self Control 45

Introduction 47
How Do We Lose SelfControl? 47
Tactic 1: Identifying Your Triggers 48
Tactic 2: Slow Down Your Responses 49
Tactic 3: Take A Time Out 49
SelfTalk Strategies 49
Tactic 4: I'm Better Than That 50
Tactic 5: I'm Not Getting Suckered 50
Tactic 6: 1 Won't Pay The Price 50
Tactic 7: Put On Their Shoes 51
Section Summary 51
Getting Prepared 51
Tactic 8: Observing 51
Tactic 9: Preparing 52
General Stress Management Issues 52
Tactic 10: Humor 53
Tactic 11: Venting/Not Venting 53
Chapter Conclusion 54

Chapter V - Starting Off Successfully 59

Introduction 61
Tactic 12: Greeting 61
Eye Contact 62
Posture 62
Tone of Voice 62
Content 62
Acknowledgment 63
Effective Timing 63
Tactic 13: Generating Rapport 64
Tactic 14: Using Names 65
Chapter Conclusion 65
Chapter V Exercises & Assignments 66

Chapter VI - The Art of Cooperative Language 69

Introduction 71
Type 1 & Type 2 Language 71
Type 1 Language Confrontational Language 71
Type 2 Language Cooperative Language 72
Tactic 15: Appropriate Use of Type 1 & Type 2 Language 74
Tactic 16: Use of We 74
Tone & Word Stress 75
Tactic 17:Using Appropriate Tone & Word Stress 75
Hot Phrases & Words 76
Tactic 18: Avoid Hot Words & Phrases 76
Tactic 19: Avoid Repeating Hot Words & Phrases 76
Using Questions 77
Tactic 20: Replace Some Statements With Questions 77

Chapter VII - Verbal Self-Defense Techniques 83

Introduction 85
Review 85
Self Defense Principles 86
Tactic 21: Use Surprise 86
Tactic 22: The WHEN Question 87
Tactic 23: Going To Computer Mode 88
Tactic 24: The TOPICGRAB 88
Tactic 25:The Broken (Stuck) Record Technique 89
Tactic 26: Telephone Silence 90
Tactic 27: Allow Venting 91
Tactic 28: You're Right 91
Chapter Conclusion 92

Chapter VIII - Acknowledgment Tactics 97

Introduction 99
Review 99
Tactic 29: Empathy Statements 99
Examples 100
Guidelines 100
Tactic 30: Listening Responses 102
Chapter Conclusion 102

Chapter IX - Countering NonVerbal Intimidation 107

Introduction 109
Taking Meaning From NonVerbal Behavior 109
Cultural Differences 110
Countermeasure Strategies 110
Tactic 31: The StandUp Shuffle 111
Tactic 32: Distraction 112
Tactic 33: Equalizing Height 113
Chapter Conclusion 114

Chapter X - Referral Techniques 117

Introduction 119
Tactic 34: Referring to Supervisor 119
Doing It Right 120
Tactic 35: Planning For Referral 122
Tactic 36: Referring To Third Party 122
Tactic 37: Directing Person's Anger 123
Chapter Conclusion 124

Chapter XI - TimeOut! 127

Introduction 129
Tactic 38: Disengaging 129
Plausible Reasons 131
Variations 131
Concluding Points 131

Chapter XII - Problem Solving 135

Introduction 137
What Is Problem Solving? 137
Tactic 39: Define Customer's Concerns & Problem 138
Tactic 40: Provide Information 139
Tactic 41: Offer Alternatives & Suggestions 139
Tactic 42: FollowThru 140
Some Support Tactics 140
Tactic 43: Create Agreement 140
Tactic 44: Give Away Something 140
Chapter Conclusion 141

Chapter XIII - Assertive Limit Setting 145

Introduction 147
Assertive Limit Setting 147
Definition 147
Tactic 45: Describe Unacceptable Behavior 148
Tactic 46: Request Behavior Change 148
Tactic 47: State Consequences 149
Tactic 48: Offer Choice 149
Enforcing Limits 150
Then What Happens? 151
Chapter Conclusion 152

Chapter XIV - For Managers & Supervisors 155

Introduction 157
Reinforcing Defusing Tactics 157
Tactic 49: Model Appropriate Behavior 157
Tactic 50: Support Skill Building 157
Tactic 51: Debriefing With Staff 158
Tactic 52: Recognize Appropriate Behavior 158
Work Environment Safety 159
Tactic 53: Conduct A Safety Audit 159
Tactic 54: Create Policy On Violence 159
Tactic 55: Communicate Safety Policy 160
Tactic 56: Communicating/Explaining Other Policies To Staff 160
Tactic 57: Effective Reversing of Employee Decisions 161
Chapter Summary 161

Chapter XV - Special Situations 165

Telephone Hostility 167
Tactic 58: Use A Stronger Tone 167
Tactic 59: Use a Very Quiet Tone 167
Tactic 60: Use More Obvious Word Stresses 168
Tactic 61: Use Other Relevant Tactics 168
Intoxicated People 168
Tactic 62: Work To Termination 169
Tactic 63: Keep It Simple 169
The Environment 169
Tactic 64: Provide Reading Material 169
Tactic 65: Reevaluate Your Environment 170
Audience Situations 170
Tactic 66: Remove the Audience 170
Team Defusing 170
Tactic 67: Prepare With Team Members 171
Dealing WithThreats 171
Tactic 68: Find Out Your Organization's Policy 171
Tactic 69: Report All Threats 171
Cultural Issues And Conflict 171
Perception of Government 171
Communication/Tone of Voice 172
Interpersonal Distance 172
Eye Contact 172
Language 172
Specific Tactics: 172
Tactic 70: Avoid Stereotyping 173
Tactic 71: Observe Carefully and Be Open To Learning 173
Tactic 72: Don't Yell 173
Tactic 72: Be Patient And Understanding 173
A Team Approach To Defusing Hostility 175
Introduction 175
Questions: 175

Chapter XVI - Closing Comments 181

Introduction 181
Tactic 73: Remind Yourself 181
Tactic 74: Review Progress 181
Tactic 75: Keep A Hostility Diary 181
Tactic 76: Defuse In Your Private Life 182
Tactic 77: Talk To Colleagues 182
Tactic 78: Revisit This Book 182
Tactic 79: Read Other Books 182
Tactic 80: Take My Course 183
Concluding Remarks: 183
Our Internet Support Services 184
Internet Web Sites 184
Internet Discussion Lists 184

Appendix A - Exercise Answers 185

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