by Peter Murphy
1 Don´t Believe Everything You Hear!
With close friends and family it is not unusual to think that you ought to take onboard everything you hear. However do not confuse caring with knowing.
Just because someone is concerned for your welfare does not mean that their advice or input has value. For example, I know a lot about peak performance. I do not know much about car maintenance.
If I ever offer you advice on rebuilding a car engine run as fast as you can! My input would have little or no value.
Likewise with friends and family. They may be negative about you, your plans and your opinions simply because they lack the knowledge to think positively about the situation. Their ignorance causes them to fear for your welfare.
Distinguish between caring and the knowledge to offer worthwhile input.
2 Let Go Of Needing Their Approval
This principle is worth stressing because it is so important. As long as you must have the permission, approval and acceptance of your peers you are a victim of their limiting beliefs.
You must let go of wanting approval if you are to ever have peace of mind.
To get started right now ask yourself — could I let go of wanting John´s approval? Where John is the name of the negative person.
Notice the feeling response that comes up for you and repeat the question for at least twenty minutes until you feel lighter and more at peace.
Do this regularly to reclaim your independence from negative people.
This sounds unusual and it is one of the most powerful ways to reclaim control over your feelings.
3 Eliminate Your Own Negative Thoughts
Often friends reflect back the negatives you quietly hold inside your own mind. If you were 100 per cent positive about your life and your plans it would not matter if people close to you were negative.
In fact their negative comments might even make you laugh because their opinions would seem so absurd to you.
You can become more positive by reading books that expand your knowledge and understanding, spending more time with positive, dynamic people and by stretching yourself daily.
By stretching I mean challenging yourself to perform better than your previous best. When you make stretching to be more part of your life your belief in what is possible grows and grows at a furious pace. Before long you will not have room for negative thoughts.
Choose to find a positive in all things and it quickly becomes a habit that will transform your experience of life.
Always be asking yourself:
— what is good about this?
— what is great about this?
— what have I learned from this that makes me stronger?
Ask yourself the right questions and redirect your mind back onto the positive. It will soon become a habit.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
