Defusing Hostile Customers Workbook Table of Contents

Defusing Hostile Customers Workbook Table of Contents

Thank you for your interest in the Defusing Hostile Customers Workbook (3rd Edition, 2010) A Self-Instructional Workbook For Public Sector Employees. To help you decide if this book suits your needs, below is a full listing of the content (and exercises) included in the Defusing Hostile Customers Workbook

Excerpts are available online by clicking here, as is complete information about the book.

Here are just a few things you should know about this book:

Basic Information About The Defusing Hostile Customers Workbook (3rd Edition, 2010)
Unique? Yes
Applicable to ANY organization that deals with difficult, angry customers, in any sector – hospitality, service, professional (e.g. law offices), retail, not for profit, and government. While examples take place in government situations, all skills apply to any context. While this workbook contains some basic material you can find elsewhere, it also contains unique models, and specific tactics you simply will not find anywhere else.
117 specific tactics drawn from Psychology research, Psycholinguistics, and thousands of people just like yourself who have served customers for many many years. Some of the best material comes from those “old hands” Allows you to practice in a powerful and effective way through the use of our “script analysis” techniques, a replacement for role playing that has proven to be effective through research, and in live courses. You can practice your responses and get feedback from the book.
It’s self-paced. You control how fast you go. While chapters are sequential you can do each one on its own. Take your time. Learn, apply it to your job, then learn the next thing. Because this book is based on our seminar of the same name, the material can be used by trainers or managers for brief training sessions, if they feel they are comfortable with the material. Ideal for lunch sessions, or 30 minute mini-training.
Script analysis (a replacement for role playing) is often better for learning, particularly for those who are shy or simply do not like “pretend” practice. That’s why we use it in the workbook, and in our live seminars. Comes complete with instructions and suggestions to help learners take what is in the book and apply it to their jobs and workplaces immediately. In other words, we set learners up to succeed, and transfer their learning.
If you need more information about this unique book to help you deal with difficult and angry clients, go to to see more.

Table of Contents

Preface To The Third Edition – 2010

Chapter Introduction (available free online)

What’s Happening Out There?
The Government Context
Who Pays The Price?
You CAN Do Something About It
Using The Workbook
Important Note On Safety
Final Note

Chapter II The Nature of Hostile, & Abusive Behavior (available free online)

Some Definitions
Angry Behavior
Hostile/Abusive Behavior
Verbal Abuse
Non‑Verbal Abuse
Implications & Key Points
Where Does Hostile/Abusive Behavior Come From?
In The Beginning
As The Child Develops
And In Adulthood…
The Purpose of Hostile/Abusive Behavior
The Rules of The Abuse Game
The Bait Concept
More Rules
Rule 1: When attacked you will respond defensively.
Rule 2: When attacked you will counterattack.
What Angry People Need And Want
They Want What They Want
They Want Help
They Want Choices
They Want Acknowledgment
How Angry Situations Escalate

Chapter III Overview of The Defusing Process

The CARP System ‑ A Master Strategy
Quick Analysis
Important Points
Principles of Defusing
Principle 1: Deal With The Feelings First
Principle 2: Avoid Coming Across As Bureaucratic
Principle 3: Each Situation Is Different
Principle 4: Strive To Control The Interaction
Principle 5: Begin Defusing Early
Principle 6: Be Assertive, Not Aggressive Or Passive
Principle 7: If You Lose Control of Yourself, You Lose. Period!
Principle 8: What You Focus On, You Get More Of
Principle 9: Don’t Supply Ammunition
Principle 10: Don’t Ask Questions You Don’t Want To Hear Answers To
Principle 11: Avoid Inadvertent Errors
Principle 12: Avoid High Risk, High Gain Behavior

Chapter IV The Art of Self‑Control

How Do We Lose Self‑Control?
Tactic 1: Identifying Your Triggers
Tactic 2: Slow Down Your Responses
Tactic 3: Take A Time Out

Self‑Talk Strategies
Tactic 4: I’m Better Than That
Tactic 5: I’m Not Getting Suckered
Tactic 6: I Won’t Pay The Price
Tactic 7: Put On Their Shoes
Section Summary
Getting Prepared
Tactic 8: Observing
Tactic 9: Preparing
General Stress Management Issues
Tactic 10: Humor
Tactic 11: Venting/Not Venting
Chapter Conclusion

Chapter V Starting Off Successfully

Tactic 12: Greeting
Eye Contact
Tone of Voice
Effective Timing
Tactic 13: Generating Rapport
Tactic 14: Using Names
Chapter Conclusion
Chapter V Exercises & Assignments
Chapter VI
The Art of Cooperative Language
Type 1 & Type 2 Language
Type 1 Language ‑ Confrontational Language
Type 2 Language ‑ Cooperative Language
Tactic 15: Appropriate Use of Type 1 & Type 2 Language
Tactic 16: Use of We
Tone & Word Stress
Tactic 17: Using Appropriate Tone & Word Stress
Hot Phrases & Words
Tactic 18: Avoid Hot Words & Phrases
Tactic 19: Avoid Repeating Hot Words & Phrases
Using Questions
Tactic 20: Replace Some Statements With Questions

Chapter VII
Verbal Self-Defense Techniques

Self‑Defense Principles
Tactic 21: Use Surprise
Tactic 22: The WHEN Question
Tactic 23: Going To Computer Mode
Tactic 24: The TOPIC‑GRAB
Tactic 25: The Broken (Stuck) Record Technique
Tactic 26: Telephone Silence
Tactic 27: Allow Venting
Tactic 28: You’re Right
Chapter Conclusion

Chapter VIII Acknowledgment Tactics

Tactic 29: Empathy Statements
Tactic 30: Listening Responses (Active Listening)
Chapter Conclusion

Chapter IX Countering Non‑Verbal Intimidation

Taking Meaning From Non‑Verbal Behavior
Cultural Differences
Countermeasure Strategies
Tactic 31: The Stand‑Up Shuffle
Tactic 32: Distraction
Tactic 33: Equalizing Height
Chapter Conclusion

Chapter X Referral Techniques

Tactic 34: Referring to Supervisor
Doing It Right
Tactic 35: Planning For Referral
Tactic 36: Referring To Third Party
Tactic 37: Directing Person’s Anger
Chapter Conclusion

Chapter XI Time‑Out!

Tactic 38: Disengaging
Plausible Reasons
Concluding Points
Chapter XII
Problem Solving
What Is Problem Solving?
Tactic 39: Define Customer’s Concerns & Problem
Tactic 40: Provide Information
Tactic 41: Offer Alternatives & Suggestions
Tactic 42: Follow‑Thru, Follow-Up
Some Support Tactics
Tactic 43: Create Agreement
Tactic 44: Give Away Something
Chapter Conclusion

Chapter XIII Assertive Limit Setting

Assertive Limit Setting
Tactic 45: Describe Unacceptable Behavior
Tactic 46: Request Behavior Change
Tactic 47: State Consequences
1. Use Cooperative Language
2. Use Enforceable Consequences
Tactic 48: Offer Choice
Enforcing Limits
Then What Happens?
Chapter Conclusion

Chapter XIV For Managers & Supervisors

Reinforcing Defusing Tactics
Tactic 49: Model Appropriate Behavior
Tactic 50: Support Skill Building
Tactic 51: Debriefing With Staff
Tactic 52: Recognize Appropriate Behavior
Work Environment Safety
Tactic 53: Conduct A Safety Audit
Tactic 54: Create Policy On Violence
Tactic 55: Communicate Safety Policy
Tactic 56: Communicating/Explaining Other Policies To Staff
Tactic 57: Effective Reversing of Employee Decisions
Chapter Summary

Chapter XV Customer Interactions Through Media

Before We Even Start!
Understanding the Changes Pushed By The New Media
The Effect of the Medium
Telephone Communication
Tactic 58: Use A Stronger Tone
Tactic 59: Use a Very Quiet Volume
Tactic 60: Use More Obvious Word Stresses
Tactic 61: Always Summarize
Tactic 62: Use Follow ups/Written Note When Possible
Tactic 63: Use Other Relevant Tactics
Tactic 64: Telephone Silence Revisited
Tactic 65: Chronic Nuisance Caller Tactic
Tactic 66: Having And Using Referral Resources
Communication Via E-mail
The Reliability Issue
Tactic 67: Modify Your E-mail Mindset
Tactic 68: Use An E-mail Disclaimer Notice
Tactic 69: Use E-mail Follow-Ups
Tactic 70: Use Other Follow-Up Methods
E-mail: Not Conversation, but Not Letter Communication
Tactic 71: Treat E-mail As The Impulsive Medium It Is and Ignore The Bait.
Tactic 72: Move Away From E-mail For Emotional Content
Tactic 73: Be Prepared For Lack of Comprehension and Structure For Comprehension
Social Media and Communicating With Customers
Short Form Social Media (Twitter, Status Updates on Facebook, LinkedIn)
Tactic 74: Use Twitter (short form) to send information – adjunct to other methods.
Tactic 75: Monitor Twitter for Discussions of Your “domain”/department
Tactic 76: Respond to Negative Tweets once in public, then shift to e-mail/phone
Tactic 77: Always Ask Person/Customer For Permission to Contact in e-mail/phone
Tactic 78: Write Simple, One Topic Short Form Messages
Longer Form Communication Via Internet (Social Media, Blogs, Websites)
Tactic 80: Attend To The Layout of Your Articles/Posts, Not Just The Content

Chapter XVI Audiences, Groups, Crowds and Mobs

Group Dynamics Change Behavior
Accidental and Incidental Audiences
Tactic 81: Observe Customer For Signs of Playing To Accidental Audience
Tactic 82: Check The Bystander Emotional Temperature
Tactic 83: Smile, They ARE Watching
Tactic 84: Control the Waiting Area Atmosphere Through Communication
Tactic 85; Remove The Audience Or The Customer
Dealing With The Ally/Friend/Companion (Theirs)
Tactic 86: Use Eye Contact/Body Language to focus
Tactic 87: Remove, Separate, Isolate
Tactic 88: Use A Team Approach
Delivering Presentations To Resistant and Hostile Groups
Tactic 89: Know When You Are Headed For Trouble Or Being Attacked
Tactic 90: Focus On The Best Possible Outcome
Tactic 91: Have Faith In The Group Process and In Human Beings.
Tactic 92: Enhance Credibility
Tactic 93: Prepare Properly
Tactic 94: Focus On The Concerns of Your Audience
Tactic 95: Preempting Objections and “Their” Issues
Tactic 96: Balance, Not Propaganda
Tactic 97: Team Up
Tactic 98: Techniques For Side-Tracking, Direct Insults, Heckling and Interruptions
Chapter Conclusions:
A Team Approach To Defusing Hostility

Chapter XVII Special Situations

Intoxicated People
Tactic 99: Work To Termination
Tactic 100: Keep It Simple
Tactic 101: Slow and Easy
The Environment
Tactic 102: Provide Reading Material
Tactic 103: Re‑evaluate Your Environment
Dealing With‑Threats
Tactic 104: Find Out Your Organization’s Policy
Tactic 105: Report All Threats
Cultural Issues And Conflict
Perception of Government
Communication/Tone of Voice
Interpersonal Distance
Eye Contact
Specific Tactics:
Tactic 106: Avoid Stereotyping
Tactic 107: Observe Carefully and Be Open To Learning
Tactic 108: Don’t Yell
Tactic 109: Be Patient And Understanding

Chapter XVIII Closing Comments

Tactic 110: Remind Yourself
Tactic 111: Review Progress
Tactic 112: Keep A Hostility Diary
Tactic 113: Defuse In Your Private Life
Tactic 114: Talk To Colleagues
Tactic 115: Revisit This Book
Tactic 116: Read Other Books
Tactic 117: Take My Course
Concluding Remarks:
Our Contact Information and Resource Centers
Appendix A
Exercise Answers


Author: Robert Bacal

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